Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Drowning in myself.

I've thought that life is much more interesting if we just let ourselves loose. Never driven by any kind of extrinsic influences as well as any type of goals that I must met by the future; and let the life surprises me. Just merely assume what lies ahead without any effort of achieving some kind of plan in life. These were once all that I believe in my life - that God would eventually points the direction and I as His disciple obediently follow whatever that may be.

Or at least that what American movies taught me. To be expected that life is full of unpredictable occurrences and hence these would eventually riches our lives through the experiences that it developed. And we were told that it would never made us turn off.

Hence for me whom a large part of my lives are influenced by the media and its associates, therefore it is hard to comprehend the scenario in which people are actually striving to achieve a certain goal in life and most of the time made a significant sacrifice in order to achieve it.

Haven't you asked yourself, why some people are like too desperate to do anything, even as far as killing the innocent others in order to attain their own self-ambition? Isn't it better for them to just following the course and not to be so expecting and calculating in their own lives? After all, God has plans for all of us, don't He?

But eventually as I put the theory in motion, it consequences were much less than I've expected. It turns out that not expecting anything in your lives gradually decreasing your significance of existence in your daily lives. It feels that as if this world is like a whirlpool, and you are at some point of its currents. It is true that if you do nothing and just let the current lead you, you'll eventually engage something new along the way. But to wait for such thing to occur is eventually costing you to drift deeper and deeper towards the sink hole, and eventually you'll drown without achieving anything.


That's what I feel like now, drowning and grasping for air with no one that can actually save me from this meaningless whirlpool of mine. Eventually I realized my need to know my true identity, to be inspired and dedicate myself towards achieving what I wanted most in life. It doesn't have to be in the form of material necessities but the most important is our own self-satisfaction in contributing something to our own world and thus defining ourselves in the process.

You'll eventually realized that it's your daily needs to be motivated and inspired just as your desire for fresh air and the warmth of the sun to lighten up your day. And for that to materialized you need something to achieve in life. Something that's worth to fight for. A divine purpose.


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