Saturday, 18 December 2010

Reminiscence

Hearing this melodious song that I've got from War and Beauty (which I used it on my blog lol), suddenly it made me remember of my golden days during studying in Jengka. I remember the times when I first got the offer, I really felt scared on how my life there might be. Considering myself as a bad ass in socializing, it made me feel unsecured upon what I might encounter at the new place.

I was thinking to myself at that moment, oh God give strength to get through this all by myself. I've already have in my box of mind how lonely and full of hardships my life would be there, with maybe no friends and will be shunned like whom I have during my school days. And I've to convinced myself that my new life there would be no more than striving for success and creating a better future - alone.

But regardless of such an ominous prediction by myself, deep in my heart I've always prayed that I might be blessed with a friend or a couple of them whom will accepted me as I am, a friend in which I can share my problems as well as happiness and whom I can spend almost everything with. I've watched on TV how good friends sometimes have their differences, but in the end they resolve it and that eventually makes their bonding becomes everlasting. In some way, I wish that I could experience such situation.

And I remember the first week during MMS which most people use it as the best time for making new cliques and friends, what I got in the end is almost none. But why I don't blame myself on that, since MMS is such an exhausting period that I could care less for others. Thinking about how hell tomorrow might be is making me preoccupied enough. So spare me the friendship hunting!

As a result, I only met somebody that I really could remember his name is just during the class session, in which I've been elected as the class wrap thanks a lot to him. Him by the name of Khalid. God really helps me at that time. Being a class wrap do have its privileges. It makes me becomes serious in remembering each of my classmates' name at least, and by doing such a favor also getting me an easy ticket to talk with them, even though its just a decent conversation. But it works!

Khalid doesn't just did that, he also introduced me to other friends that now I realized how I treasured and missed every moments with them. I've never forget how myself, Khalid, Kikim and Matnor spends up our weekends hanging around at the warongs in Jengka, trying new food available while sharing stories about our respective backgrounds, as well as gossiping about the backgrounds of others - sharing many funny jokes and ghost stories. How I've remembered spending almost every night on Khalid's room chatting until 2 to 3am, until in the end no one is brave enough to went back into their rooms because to Kikim's horror stories. How I wish that the moments could be repeated!

But what I treasured most about Khalid is that how his characters warms up my coldness that have long entrenched deep inside me - something that I think I could never change about myself. He cracks up my inner conscience about the peoples all around me. But as all good friendships in TV, we maybe encounters some problems and I would be lying if I said we does not quarreling about trivial matters this past few years, but in the end that's makes our friendships even stronger. He's like my social aid or something.

In the end, I've just realized that I really felt to be loved by all my friends, not only from just the friends that I've mention before, but also from others such as Syed and his outstanding wits to defy nature, as well as others such as Fuzley, Nok, Shubi, Dek Mie, Salleh, Har, Hash, Farid, the Shafiqs and others that's so many for me to mention here... (But I've never forgot you all, I promise!)

And now all the good years have already came to an end. But it's worth to live up to it, and in the end I've realised that all the bad thoughts that I've had before were no more than a wishful thinking of somebody whom are afraid of himself, afraid of changes that never stops evolving around him. But as the good moments maybe ended, the friendships as well as all the memorable nostalgia lasts forever. I've always felt that I've owed it all to God.

Now this year have come almost to an end. A new year will emerge, and with it comes a new chapter of my ever-changing life. How this will turns out to be?

This time I have a very good feeling about it. : )

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