Everyone has their own dreams in life. So do I. But sometimes I felt confused with what I want to choose as my dream career. A doctor? A lawyer perhaps? None of that suits my heart.
By the time I stepped into here, I have set a purpose for my life: to give this 3 years of studying as an opportunity to explore different kind of fields, to seek which are the career that I dream for and looking for a job that I want to do with all my heart for the rest of my life.
By this three years I have found new friends and learnt about many new things, some of it are good in nature while others are really just good to be known for but never to be done. Finally these 3 years of learning finally came to an end. And it find me kinda troubled to think that all these years I have wasted n yet still no absolute decision on what I'm going to do next.
People always say that if your heart feels uncertain about making any big decisions, then ask for guidance from God. It's always been crossed in my heart all these while to consider performing Solat Istikharah, but in the advent of Eid that was just around the clock back then, with addition of my lack of time management results with me just asking from God via daily prayers only. No more.
But God is always merciful on me. By the time the application form almost meets its due date, I seek some counsel or rather to be surveying on what are my friends choices for their degree. I get a lot of comments and suggestions. But in the end, the advice from one of my best friend really opens my heart and mind.
I remembered the last thing he told to me when I was hesitating whether to put Biology or TESL as my first choice to pursue on becoming either a lecturer or at least a teacher (if God's permits it). He says, "Why do you want to choose something that you don't really like over the ones that you like the most? You really love to English so much, you can speak well in it, you enjoys everything regarding English so much, then why must you pursue into fields that you are not really into your heart with it?"
That question really struck me to the core. For some time now, I really have been clouded by the prospect of science-based field of studies. My decision before is really being confused by the thought that only science fields are capable to withstand the violent competition in the job sector. I was blinded by the thought that industry and medical are the only worthy option to be pursued to further my studies.
And the most important is I almost fall into the seducing thought that my CGPA's means that I should choose better fields which are much more challenging and throw away my own desires.
And thank God I've never done so. It feels like I've been given a revelation from God, a true sign that made me came back into my senses. And all the uncertain path ahead suddenly seems cleared. And finally I choose TESL as a major in pursuing my study and I never felt more confidence than this.
In the end, I always thinks that this was really a sign from God to show me my future. Maybe I'm not a very pious person, but I believe that God will always shows us the right path if we pray really hard for it. I believe that everything that God had planned for us, either it a good thing or the contrary, is His way of showing His love and charity towards us.
Everything that were written in our fates have its own blessing in disguise. After all, He is the All Knowing, the Omniscient. Hence never forget to be thankful for every single moments that we went through in our lives.