Saturday, 26 December 2009

New Year's Hope

Tahun baru maal hijrah baru je blalu.. n skrg nh incoming tahun baru masihi pulak.. tapi aku rase aku xpnh b'ubah.. still pada rase n keadaan yg sama sejak 5-6 tahun yang lalu.. aku tgk org len tiap2 taun buat perubahan.. yg dlu kwn kamcheng, ade yg da keje da.. dr dlu yg jadi kwn ngumpat, da tunang da.. everyone around me changes.. but for me, im still wonder when..

diam xdiam, umo aku dah 20 dah taun nh.. umo di mane i'm not really in a very confortable position rite now.. my life is still unstable.. i still dont know about how my future will bring me.. and the time is running out!

the truth is, im not searching anymore.. i think i have found the thing that i would like to achieve in my life.. i have found my "thing".. but now other question follows - how on earth am i going to achieve it.. in the rate that im going rite now, it seems that my dream becomes impossible.. i dont know how to achieve it.. my life is soo stable in a way that it doesn't seem to progress in any way that i planned to be!

i dont know.. i have many dreams to achieve in life.. i wanna do that.. i wanna try this.. but all i get in the end is doing nothing.. life seem soo stable rite now for me, that i really think there is no necessary for me to rush on everything.. "just keep moving at this pace and you will eventually reaching somewhere.." that is how my heart understand it.

but thinking that moving this speed without any clear plans for the future, while in my head planning for something else that i would really want in life, is pathetic! i always think about something, but eventually do the opposite thing.. yes, life has many path to choose from, but wondering around it without proper guide or specific destination, it will eventually leads nowhere!

peoples can dream whatever they want, all people can be creative.. all people have a vision to achieve something great in their life.. but only some people follows their dream and strive to achieved it until eventually, the dream come true.. even that's what most family-themed or disney-themed american movie is all about these days - chasing their so-called american dreams.. the spirit that they planted towards their children, that makes the american so progressive!

but they are not perfect either.. they left the most fundamental part of their life aside, and that is God.. for me, God's teaching and blessing is everything in this world.. even wealth, fame and status would never guaranteed us from anything.. God can take that at any time when He wants.. leaving the teaching of God is like leaving the thing that makes us human being.. so what is the meaning of life if we lost that??

so my determination is i want to chase my dreams.. and do my best to make it come true.. n along the way leaving any disgraceful acts that i've done before.. there is always a true path somewhere that leads to God's honour, but you will never found if you always take the high road.. because you will never watch down to even seach for it! and i want to search for it, i know its tough, but thinking that God will always be in my side, that's the true strength!

God will always show the one whom search for his path.. insyaAllah..

Envy!!


They said a pen is mightier than a sword.. well, they got that right! a sword may only wound a person, and he/she can be healed eventually, but when is a person is wounded internally by an indirect act, such as in the form of malicious statements, slandering or a spreading of rumors that aren't true, accusations from someone that intends to destroy our good name or integrity, or framing us to something that we does not have any connections to it in any way whatsoever; this will hurt us in a very bad way, with a result of total humiliation and betrayal - one that will destroy us emotionally, if not physically, and may hunt us for the rest of our lives.

In today's globalised social life, one cannot run from encountering such situations in his/her daily life.. In the working atmosphere for example, if you think that there such thing as working as a family, bla2... you are definitely living in your fairytale, one which do not have a happily ever after ending on it! If one people succeeds in his/her career, the others will initiates a sense of envy and jealousy in which will eventually triggers to a sense of either hatred or admiration, depending on the attitude of the succeeder towards the others. All thanks to Darwin and his "survival of the fittest" crap. That's really makes people felt relieved when doing bad things to achieve their target in life. What a pathetic excuse!

Envy and pride flows along the development of society these days. It resides under the enchantments of capitalism, cherished under the name of integrity, honour and wealth.. In todays life, the sense of greed that once has become one of the seven deadly sins has now resurfaced in a new form called glory and prestige..

Today's world is no more than a stage, where peoples live inside it plays their roles hypocratically.. They abandon their true selves in order to pursue their so-called dreams of wealth and luxury, for fame and honour.. They tend to imitate others.. without thinking about the positive and negative effect of their actions and decisions.

People nowadays learnt that self-satisfaction is the true goal in their daily lives.. where everything can be justfied to achieve personal goals.. where sex is a common and adultery is abolished.. a society where lust is treated as their true instict.. they called that God is merciful and all-forgiving, but at the same time abandoning or rejecting the basic teachings and rules of God. They follow the teaching of people amongst them, in search for so-called "true happiness" - wealth and fame.

What are our society has becoming today?

"life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
that struts and frets his hour upon a stage,
and then is heard no more; it is a tale
told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
signifying nothing.."
-shakespeare, Life's Brief Candle-