Today i was shocked to hear about one of my lecturer's faintness during her lecture.. many things that i heard about her cause of faintness, but i pray to God hoping that it was just a minor stress or dehydration, which is common in this fasting month..
But the thing is.. it makes me felt a sudden feel of sadness inside my heart.. because i making me thinking about death..
Death is inevitable.. And our daily life will come to an end eventually.. it is God's promise, that one day He will take our soul towards heaven, or Hell.. But the only thing that i really make me thinking is, how we are going to face our death?
I've often read about death of people in the books. Some people died easily and full of honors, while others died tragically, sadistically and full of suffering.. When i read about death of people, i often imagined how they once have lived..
For this lecturer that I've learn a lot from, i guess i really treasures the best of her.. This morning, she advised us to keep our health good during this festive season.. Do not get overjoyed, because what's important is what we gonna face after the eid.. the future that we never wonder..
Thinking about her, God have given her the opportunity to achieve what peoples hope to achieve in their own life.. She got the opportunity to study abroad and succeeded, and she has found a husband that can guide her the path towards heavens, live a very happy life with children that will someday in God's will, following her steps towards victory in this world and hereafter.. I guess her life is always in God's will..
And she also the most persistent lecturer i ever know.. She's now about 50 i guess, but she never skip nor late coming to classes - even when her health conditions seems to weaken her.. She really take every God's grace towards her seriously, and tried her best to use it towards His path.. She always tried her best to serve other peoples, and she regards her career as a lecture as a responsibility, and she tried her best to manage it in her own ways..
I think she never forgot to feel thankful for all the things that she has already achieved.. That really touches my heart.. And i can only wonder, if one day that i can eventually becoming like her..
I don't know how does she felt when thinking about her own death, or when does it happen.. Or how.. I can only wonder.. But if one day she will be invited by God to His Grace (Rahmatullah).. I guess she is one of the person that will be ready to face it..
The truth is, is make me kept thinking, how do i leave this world one day..? Am i will be prepared when the time comes..?
Imperfection, that makes us a human being.. and i she does have her own weakness too.. Sometimes she could easily become furious when she wasn't satisfied with something.. but i think the important thing is, she realise her weakness and try to overcome it.. I've always imagine her never forget to ask for His forgiveness for all of her wrongdoing, either she realised doing it or not.. day and night.. And i always wonder on how i will do the same thing for myself..
Beyond her resoluteness, i (and i think everyone else too) can felt her true heart and intention.. I can sense her on how she manages her daily live.. her mother instinct.. to have a mother like that, i think her sons and daughters are in fact the luckiest person in the world...
For some reason, i also wonder that whether i will meet the same lecturers, frends or all the people that i know after this holiday.. Either some of them will never come back.. or either i will never come back, I will never know.. It's always in God's fate.. and i hope for the best to everyone..
But why human never think about this? their own death? how they're going to face it?
It is like human always forget their own purpose of existence..