Sunday, 3 May 2009

A true story about Me + Money

Lately within this two-three days, i always wondering and pondering.. During eating.. During studying.. or when doing nothing on my bed, the same question kept playing on and on in my head,

"how on earth am i going to find enough money to have a safe travelling to home??"

this is my first encounter with this type of problem, since I've started studying here.. by my surprise, i don't expect that i will have a financial problem this semester, despite less money was given by the PTPTN.. and it don't take much longer to see it worsen.

this "economic crisis" that hits me started before the studying week, in which at that time, its like my ATM card have seemed becoming almost worthless..

seeking for alternatives, i reluctantly rushed back home during the week, to ask for "fund injection" from my dad. It's not like he is stingy to me or something, but it was me felling a sort of shame to my father to ask him for money via phone.. it will be better if i came directly upon him, since the money that i would like to ask is not small either..

and the plan turns out successfully! i get enough fund (and also relieved from a fever, thank God!) to spend in KL book festival that comes just after a get back to campus.. its so great!

But out of my sensors, the worst is yet to come!

after the trip, my money in possession has shrunk to just about RM50! (and don't ask about the remainders in bank, its empty!) and my naive thinking at that time is that, "oh don't worry, i still have more money to buy a ticket to go home." and more naive thinking after that is, "ticket only cost about RM20 only, and with addition of travelling expenses for about RM10, i still have RM20 to spend upon on other things," and that is when I'm wrong!

i spend like hell on foods everyday, for a more than a week.. final exams has already begun, and for some reason the tensions of preparing for finals makes my appetite for food becoming larger, and so it on. after eating nasi campur at the cafeteria or dining, i search for something light, like the mouth-watering variety of kuihs that was served at the cafeteria as desert. Oh God! It felt so good at that time!

as a result, money flew off from my pocket like water, and it don't take me long to realise that my RM20 so-called "remainder" has all gone. realising that i do not have money to spend anymore, I've started plan B, that is to cut away all my expenses on food and only depend on dining food to eat every day!

and so it started my operation "diet" plan. as a cover-up to my roommates n friends, i tend to use the word "diet" or "fasting" rather then "i don't have money" to explain why I'm not eating in the cafe. It sounds pathetic, but as long as i can avoid spending unnecessary items, who kares??

and it continues until now, with yesterday is the climax of it.

finally, I've managed to buy a ticket to come home this coming holiday.
and i thought that was all for my financial misery!

on the contrary, yesterday when looking at the calendar to count for "the day of freedom", i just realised that my motorcycle license renewal is on this week, wed 6th!

how on earth am i going to find money to pay for that??? it really troubles me.. i don't know how to react with this shocking problem. at last I've come out with some solution, yet it have a positive n negative effect.

  1. Borrowing from a friend. Effective, yeah. But i have already borrow some money from my friend before, and truthfully i don't want too add the burden of having more debt to pay next semester.

  2. Asking from my dad more money. Dear God! This will finally become my last resort for solution! i don't want him to questioned about how I'm spending the money, and also i cant stand the uttering of him when knowing all the money he gave before has already gone.

  3. Borrowing from mother. Desperate, yes. But not this desperate! This final resort only will be used for code red or critical situations only.

  4. Borrowing from my brother. Am i that stupid?? No thanks!

Finally, I'm taking solution no. 5, that is to surrender to God and His fate. I kept praying to God, asking Him for a way out of this mess.

But the license is still needs to be renewed, so when the date of renewal are almost near, i asked my friend to borrow me a sum of money at this Tue, the day that i planned to renew my license.

And when i go to the Pasar Malam with my friend, i bought almost nothing. Luckily for me, one of my friends asked me to buy two burgers for him, and that saved me from going back to campus empty-handed.

and something happen at the Pasar Malam last night. as i passing through the crowd, it cannot help to see the beggars at the middle of the pedestrian-walk, sitting there waiting helplessly for donation from the passers-by. i makes me kept thinking that the misery and troublesome of my financial crisis is nothing compared to the suffering of them.

I'm only incapable of paying for the renewal of my driving license, and i think that i was the most pathetically poorest person existed on earth; discarding the fact that i should be grateful that i still capable of eating good food everyday, not like the beggars whom seek for a scratch of food from the mercy of others.

and it gives me a feeling of calm deep inside my heart. and i said to myself, "I'm still capable (mampu), hence it was the responsibility of the capable to help the less capable." and i sincerely gave her all the coins that i found abundantly inside my wallet and prayed to God that my earnings (rezeki) will be eased (dipermudahkan).

and God is All-Hear, All-Knows..

During that night, my family called to say hi. After a couple of minutes of chatting, i talked to my mother about my financial problem to renew my license.

As my surprise, my father also heard about the problem, maybe because my mother set a loudspeaker upon the conversation. And he said to my mother (in which i also heard it) that he will transferred a sum of money for me to pay for the license.

the shocking revelations gave me a triumphant outburst, and it felt like all my burdens before have been finally lifted.

i kept thanking God, for allowing such a coincidence happen. I really felt grateful that despite my seldom forgetness upon Him, He never casted me away and always helped me, always in a way that He only knows how.. Wallahualam..

nevertheless, this "dieting program" has now shows its positive effects. My tummy is not like a balloon anymore, and my cravings for food are also gone with it. That's a relief.

No comments:

Post a Comment