diam xdiam, umo aku dah 20 dah taun nh.. umo di mane i'm not really in a very confortable position rite now.. my life is still unstable.. i still dont know about how my future will bring me.. and the time is running out!
the truth is, im not searching anymore.. i think i have found the thing that i would like to achieve in my life.. i have found my "thing".. but now other question follows - how on earth am i going to achieve it.. in the rate that im going rite now, it seems that my dream becomes impossible.. i dont know how to achieve it.. my life is soo stable in a way that it doesn't seem to progress in any way that i planned to be!
i dont know.. i have many dreams to achieve in life.. i wanna do that.. i wanna try this.. but all i get in the end is doing nothing.. life seem soo stable rite now for me, that i really think there is no necessary for me to rush on everything.. "just keep moving at this pace and you will eventually reaching somewhere.." that is how my heart understand it.
but thinking that moving this speed without any clear plans for the future, while in my head planning for something else that i would really want in life, is pathetic! i always think about something, but eventually do the opposite thing.. yes, life has many path to choose from, but wondering around it without proper guide or specific destination, it will eventually leads nowhere!
peoples can dream whatever they want, all people can be creative.. all people have a vision to achieve something great in their life.. but only some people follows their dream and strive to achieved it until eventually, the dream come true.. even that's what most family-themed or disney-themed american movie is all about these days - chasing their so-called american dreams.. the spirit that they planted towards their children, that makes the american so progressive!
but they are not perfect either.. they left the most fundamental part of their life aside, and that is God.. for me, God's teaching and blessing is everything in this world.. even wealth, fame and status would never guaranteed us from anything.. God can take that at any time when He wants.. leaving the teaching of God is like leaving the thing that makes us human being.. so what is the meaning of life if we lost that??
so my determination is i want to chase my dreams.. and do my best to make it come true.. n along the way leaving any disgraceful acts that i've done before.. there is always a true path somewhere that leads to God's honour, but you will never found if you always take the high road.. because you will never watch down to even seach for it! and i want to search for it, i know its tough, but thinking that God will always be in my side, that's the true strength!
God will always show the one whom search for his path.. insyaAllah..