Saturday, 26 December 2009

New Year's Hope

Tahun baru maal hijrah baru je blalu.. n skrg nh incoming tahun baru masihi pulak.. tapi aku rase aku xpnh b'ubah.. still pada rase n keadaan yg sama sejak 5-6 tahun yang lalu.. aku tgk org len tiap2 taun buat perubahan.. yg dlu kwn kamcheng, ade yg da keje da.. dr dlu yg jadi kwn ngumpat, da tunang da.. everyone around me changes.. but for me, im still wonder when..

diam xdiam, umo aku dah 20 dah taun nh.. umo di mane i'm not really in a very confortable position rite now.. my life is still unstable.. i still dont know about how my future will bring me.. and the time is running out!

the truth is, im not searching anymore.. i think i have found the thing that i would like to achieve in my life.. i have found my "thing".. but now other question follows - how on earth am i going to achieve it.. in the rate that im going rite now, it seems that my dream becomes impossible.. i dont know how to achieve it.. my life is soo stable in a way that it doesn't seem to progress in any way that i planned to be!

i dont know.. i have many dreams to achieve in life.. i wanna do that.. i wanna try this.. but all i get in the end is doing nothing.. life seem soo stable rite now for me, that i really think there is no necessary for me to rush on everything.. "just keep moving at this pace and you will eventually reaching somewhere.." that is how my heart understand it.

but thinking that moving this speed without any clear plans for the future, while in my head planning for something else that i would really want in life, is pathetic! i always think about something, but eventually do the opposite thing.. yes, life has many path to choose from, but wondering around it without proper guide or specific destination, it will eventually leads nowhere!

peoples can dream whatever they want, all people can be creative.. all people have a vision to achieve something great in their life.. but only some people follows their dream and strive to achieved it until eventually, the dream come true.. even that's what most family-themed or disney-themed american movie is all about these days - chasing their so-called american dreams.. the spirit that they planted towards their children, that makes the american so progressive!

but they are not perfect either.. they left the most fundamental part of their life aside, and that is God.. for me, God's teaching and blessing is everything in this world.. even wealth, fame and status would never guaranteed us from anything.. God can take that at any time when He wants.. leaving the teaching of God is like leaving the thing that makes us human being.. so what is the meaning of life if we lost that??

so my determination is i want to chase my dreams.. and do my best to make it come true.. n along the way leaving any disgraceful acts that i've done before.. there is always a true path somewhere that leads to God's honour, but you will never found if you always take the high road.. because you will never watch down to even seach for it! and i want to search for it, i know its tough, but thinking that God will always be in my side, that's the true strength!

God will always show the one whom search for his path.. insyaAllah..

Envy!!


They said a pen is mightier than a sword.. well, they got that right! a sword may only wound a person, and he/she can be healed eventually, but when is a person is wounded internally by an indirect act, such as in the form of malicious statements, slandering or a spreading of rumors that aren't true, accusations from someone that intends to destroy our good name or integrity, or framing us to something that we does not have any connections to it in any way whatsoever; this will hurt us in a very bad way, with a result of total humiliation and betrayal - one that will destroy us emotionally, if not physically, and may hunt us for the rest of our lives.

In today's globalised social life, one cannot run from encountering such situations in his/her daily life.. In the working atmosphere for example, if you think that there such thing as working as a family, bla2... you are definitely living in your fairytale, one which do not have a happily ever after ending on it! If one people succeeds in his/her career, the others will initiates a sense of envy and jealousy in which will eventually triggers to a sense of either hatred or admiration, depending on the attitude of the succeeder towards the others. All thanks to Darwin and his "survival of the fittest" crap. That's really makes people felt relieved when doing bad things to achieve their target in life. What a pathetic excuse!

Envy and pride flows along the development of society these days. It resides under the enchantments of capitalism, cherished under the name of integrity, honour and wealth.. In todays life, the sense of greed that once has become one of the seven deadly sins has now resurfaced in a new form called glory and prestige..

Today's world is no more than a stage, where peoples live inside it plays their roles hypocratically.. They abandon their true selves in order to pursue their so-called dreams of wealth and luxury, for fame and honour.. They tend to imitate others.. without thinking about the positive and negative effect of their actions and decisions.

People nowadays learnt that self-satisfaction is the true goal in their daily lives.. where everything can be justfied to achieve personal goals.. where sex is a common and adultery is abolished.. a society where lust is treated as their true instict.. they called that God is merciful and all-forgiving, but at the same time abandoning or rejecting the basic teachings and rules of God. They follow the teaching of people amongst them, in search for so-called "true happiness" - wealth and fame.

What are our society has becoming today?

"life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
that struts and frets his hour upon a stage,
and then is heard no more; it is a tale
told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
signifying nothing.."
-shakespeare, Life's Brief Candle-

Monday, 9 November 2009

It has so much to be thankful about!

Diam xdiam, akhirnya sem ni da sampai ke penghujungnya.. time awal2 sem hari 2, rasenye mcm sumenye serba kelembapan.. everything is like slowing down.. but reaching to the end, it looks like that there is still more things to be done.. and it feels like that i will be missing a lot.. a lot of gud times..

tetiba aku tringat ape yg aku buat sepanjang sem yg baru blalu nh.. macam2 pkara yang blaku dalam hidup aku.. Alhamdulillah sejak aku part 1 sampai la sekarang, aku slalu spt rumate2 yang best.. mcm beselah, mula2 aku sndri yg ala2 prejudis.. but in the end, they all are really blessings in disguise.. hehe

mike a.k.a apis for example, org yg paling happy-go-lucky dlm bilik 2.. hehe.. memang x sah kalu die x ngaco c chepa dgn aizul.. lbh2 lagi c aizul la.. ade je point yg die nk sentap.. tp aku rase aizul or chepa x kisah kot.. becoz he is just what he is.. pas2 dgn klakar die.. ala2 playboy nye.. slalu bangun lambat.. sometimes nakal.. huhu.. really reminds me on madi, rumate mase part 2 aku.. memg sbijik kot aku tgk prangai 2 ekor tu.. huhu..

but what i like about him is his responsibilitiness.. sikap tanggungjwb die thadap teman sbilik.. kdg2 aku tgk x ubah ala2 seorg ayah yg tgh mjaga anak2 die (a.k.a rumate2 die yg len..) t'utamanye aku yg ala2 anak bongsu plak kat dlm bilik 2.. hehe perasan! n die gak jnis yg pmbersih.. pantang npk sampah sket.. die la kot yg paling rajin myapu kt bilik 2.. chepa dan aizul pon same gak.. kdg2 aku pun jadi segan bile tgk die rajin sgt.. sbb aku nh pmalas! huhu.. 2la sape suro xmtk aku tlg buat keje.. hehe.. aku nh jnis bile dh dsuro baru aku buat..

so tipu la kate2 kwn2 aku kt tgkak nih yg mgatakan org kelate nh sumenye pgotor.. huhu.. aku rase xkira la negeri ape pon, even johor nh pn ade gak spesis pmbersih @ pgotor nh.. it's only about individual attitude yg mjadi persoalan, that's all..

tapi 1 benda yg aku tkejut, n aku xbknan sgt2 pasal apis nh, is SMOKING!! aku tkejut gak hjung2 sem bile npk die stat smoking kat bilik.. huhu.. sengsara bcoz i don't want to become a passive smoker..!! huhu.. but aku phm sbnrnye dgn keadaan die time 2.. too much pressure i guess.. but for me, smoking is not the solution.. apis, kalu ko baca blog aku nh, tlg la hentikan ur smoking habit 2.. sbb ianya lgsg xmendtgkan kesan +ve pd ko, naimah lg dpt mhilangkan pressure ko 2.. it's just adding u to a new prob, addiction.. n in the next 30 years, mybe peparu ko lak gagal bfungsi.. or heart attack.. huhu.. pls think abt ur future.. it's not worth to do it..

chepa pulak, org yg pendiam dlm bilik 2.. tp diam2 ubi berisi tau.. sape tau dsbalik sifat die yg xbyk ckp 2, klakar jugak orgnye.. hehe.. ntah la.. aku selesa sbnrnya dgn sfat chepa 2.. wpun die ala2 mcm xbyk ckp, but i can see him as a friendly guy.. hahaha.. xtau la nk jelaskan cmne.. tp aku sndri npk kwn2 skeliling die sume selesa n maybe enjoy bile bsama die.. hehe.. tp die pn memg klakar sbnrnye.. n i like his discipline attitude.. memg rajin blajar siot.. dah la subjek2 mlibatkn kira2 + rumus sgala.. n die memg bijak math pun aku tgk.. huhu.. gud luck chasing ur future chepa n becoming a mathematician.. =)

then the last one, aizul.. hehe.. emm.. org plg cool.. slalu kene usik dgn apis but die buat slambe dono je.. hehe.. kdg2 lucah jgk aku tgk bile diorg b'2 bgurau.. smpai men tarik2 tuala.. sentap aku! huhu.. satu2nye senior bilik aku yg ambik bio n a trengganites.. tp kadang2 ala2 childish.. hehe.. it's ok i like that.. n die slalu kelihatan gembira dgn hidup die.. i like him becoz he is brave enough to say or do domething that he fells that he should do.. huhu.. not like me.. no matter how keen i am to make the right choices, i always ends up with a more cowardly decision or act.. huhu.. smart guy.. aku tgk die xstudy sgt, tp always mletop je kot result die.. hehe.. n khalid ckp prala always look high on him.. die xtau tu.. tapi die bek weh..

mungkin ade yg plek, knp bile cite psl apis bjela2 pnjang tp bile cite psl chepa dgn aizul just 1 perenggan je?? hehe.. sbbnye, mase online dh nak abis! huhu.. byk lg mende yg aku nk tlis tp masa dah x izinkan.. but i love them all, and i pray for the best for all of our future..

sume rumate2 aku sem nh baik2 blake.. huhu.. it may be the end for me living with them, but the memories i treasured with them lasts forever.. huhu.. Alhamdulillah.. Thank God for everything!! ^^

Monday, 2 November 2009

Dandelion

Aku memg sukar utk myukai sesuatu.. tetapi knp bile aku nampak bunge dandelion, aku terus jatuh cinta padanya.. dalam byk2 bunga kat dunia nh.. ros.. matahari.. lily.. even bunga tahi ayam yg still aku anggap cantik, tapi aku still sukekan bunge dandelion.. xtau la kat malaysia panggil ape bunge 2.. dan aku xpeduli sume 2..

aku jenis yg x mementingkan kecantikan.. paras rupe.. sumenye bukan pilihanku.. sbb 2la bunge2 yg indah dipandang spt ros.. daisy.. even bunge rafflessia yg cantik 2pun x mdapat tempat di hati aku..

tp aku xtau knp.. bunga dandelion bjaya mcuri pandanganku.. aku xtau knp.. aku rase aman berada di sampingnya.. melihat liuk lentoknya dibuai angin kehidupan, membuatkan aku tringin utk mndekatinye.. menghayati keindahannya.. dan dalam diam, hati kecilku ini ingin skali mjadi sbhagian drpd kehidupannya..

namun telah mnjadi naluri hamba Allah yg bgelar dandelion, hidupnye diwarnai kebebasan.. serinya tidak pernah lekang dari dikelilingi fauna alam.. tetapi kehidupannya bukan utk manusia.. habitatnya di padang saujana.. bukan di taman2 buatan manusia, apatah lagi di dalam pasu bunga.. namun hatiku masih mharap, agar suatu hari nnti aku dpt memilikinya.. agar dia dapat mjadi penyeri hidupku..

namun aku tertanya2, mampukan aku menyentuhnya tanpa merosakkannya? mampukah aku mendekatinya tanpa memudaratkannya? dan mampukah diriku yg hina ini menjaga kesuciannya...?

aku tahu.. bukan aku sorg saja yg myukai dandelion kat dunia ni.. Sesuatu yg nampak biasa pada zahirnya, tp itulah yg x dpt kulupakan padanya.. Dandelion, aku pcaya kehadiranmu sebagai hikmah.. utk mbuka kembali hatiku yg tlalu terleka dgn tipudaya duniawi ini..

Tuhanku.. Berilah petunjukmu.. jika inilah ketentuanMu, bantulah hambaMu yg berada di dalam kesesatan ini...

mungkin sbb itu aku takut utk mendekatinya.. biarlah buat masa ini, aku sekadar mengaguminya dengan pandangan mata.. biarlah dia bebas di padang lepas, dan aku di satu sudut terus memerhati dan menghayatinya.. InsyaAllah.. jika diizinkan..

Friday, 30 October 2009

Final fever


Dah lama dah aku xtulis post baru ke dlm blog aku nh..
Mcm2 benda aku nk kongsi, tp bila dah de pluang, xde mud @ masa pulak nk mlakukannya..
Xtau la knp.. Maybe sbb atmosphere nk final nih kot..
tapi rase xbest tgk blog aku nh jadi obselete.. at least aku nk up-to-date kn something.. biar npk mcm ade something new yg aku bleh tgk..

final?? em.. preparation aku xpasti lg nak ckp cmne..
coz aku nih jnis study ikut hati.. kalu xde mud memg xsentuh lgsg buku2 2..
but esok dah paper final, so aku xnk main2 lagi..
byk cite aku nk kongsi.. pasal dinner.. psl my dark life..
but all of that can be wait.. first thing comes first..

so just nak wish y'all all the best for this final exam..
pls doakan kejayaan aku, walau ape jua pilihan aku nnti..

Monday, 28 September 2009

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Yesterday was so not my day.. Starting in the morning, i tried to woke up early to finish my biology reports.. Unfortunately, i could not finished the reports on time..

So i just bring the unfinished work to class and planning to continue there..
And i tried my best to prepare early to my biology lab class, and thank god i did come on time.. Unfortunately, i forgot to bring my lab coat.. so i had to run and rush back to my room to take it.. It's so ironic to think that i started the first day and the first class after Eid with a jog and sweat.. huhu..

At the lab, thank God there is plenty time to do my reports and Alhamdulillah i managed to finished it..
Unfortunately, Ipin did not photocopy the lab-report covers yet, so i have to wait until the end of the class to submit it..

After class, khalid and i went to have lunch at the cafetaria. Finally, after we are about to finish our lunch, Ipin came and gave us the lab-report covers that he'd
just photocopied.. Looking that the time which is just 11.30am, we thought we have a plenty of time and decided to go to the library to complete the cover form. At there, we met Eddy Fernandez studying.. Unfortunately, i am so excited about the movie preview for the weekend that he showed us, without noticing that time had passes very fast around us.. But i barely finished the report cover on time - at 11.55pm.. and it must be submitted before noon sharp!

And i ran into the lecturer's block and dashes to the lecturers room..
but as i suspected, unfortunately she's not in her room anymore, and the room's locked! I felt so depressed at that moment and trying to find her, assuming that she is just leaving the room and still around the co rner.. but she was nowhere to be found.

Devastated, i put the reports on her pigeon hole.. hoping that there is still some room for her acceptance. Not to mention mark deduction! huhu..
At that moment, all the cherry blossom and festive moods are all gone.. I felt so depressed at that moment..

Thinking that maybe i could overcome this by getting a short nap, i rushed back to my room, hoping for a little moment of tranquility..
Unfortunately, my roomates are having a 'gotong-royong' at the room! It left me speechless and i dont know what to do, or even to think at that moment.. But i just sat silently at my bed, letting them finished their works.. And at that moment i'm still wondering what trouble that lies ahead after this..

At the evening, i was hoping that all the problems that our chemistry lecturer faced during the Ramadan are already being settled.. I do know that she may have some misunderstanding and awkward situation with us, but i think all of that are just old stories that are tend to be forgotten, especially after Raya.. And i expect that we will have a happy class, just like always.. But unfortunately, she never shows up, with no messaging and whatsoever!

Well, don't know what to think anymore, i went home with one of my colleague.. and he came to a visit at my room and we have a chat about raya and all. And the chat
ting went on and on about family etc.. At that moment, i feel that i can divert my thoughts about all the things that happen today by listening to him chattering.. Unfortunately, that's before he open some of the shocking revelations that i could not imagine that it actually came from his mouth! It gave a freaking hell out of me!! About the thing that we talked, just say that i makes me feel do not want to become or involved in this "gaia" thing anymore.. huhu..

After that, i felt like all around me is just collapsing.. Suddenly it make me think on myself - what am i becoming? what choices does i must follow? do i really want to end becoming the thing that i was becoming right now?? OMG the pressure is soo escalating! I don't know what to do, and i've lost my mood to study too last night.. Feeling like i need an escape route, i went down with my friend to for dinner.. But to be honest, my escape getaway doesn't work!

Guess what happen next? More unfortunate things of course! It's just when I'm in front of the door of my room that i finally realised that i does not bring the key! With all of m
y roomates are out at Jengka, all is becoming one hell of a night to me.. I think at myself, what is the possibility that i could get so many unfortunate events in just one day like this?? I wonder why God gave me such a burden today, on the first day of study?? What's wrongdoings that i have done to make me deserve this??

But when i'm thinking deeper, remembering what that I've done during the past weeks of raya, i think in some way, God is paying cash to me, and i guess i deserves this..

And i wondering off around the hostel.. feeling lonely without purpose.. i tried to find some sense of calm on my friends room, but it just adding up my miserable.. so i went out, walking alone without any way to go.. and that is when i saw it... the only place that is always open to all who visiting it.. the only place that ones can seek refuge, seeking redemption and searching for the true peace.. physically and emotionally.. the only place where i can see the lights despite the darkness that surrounded me - The House of God..

Suddenly my heart felt that there is a glimpse of hope there.. an answer that i was looking for was only metres away in front of me.. And i went there for His compassionate... in His house.. Uwais al-Qarni.. At there i perform the last daily prayers there..

Suddenly something happen..
Like an angels touch, someone touch my shoulders, and i knew that i have to become an imam for someone that have just arrived.. So i just continue my prayer.. Suddenly i felt that there is a responsible upon my shoulders.. i continue my prayers, with my heart continuously pray to Allah, may He accept my ibadah and all the makmum behind me.. And Alhamdulillah, it ends well..

After that night, i always wonder to myself, is this the path of redemption that God tried to show me? He had showed me His straight path when i felt completely lost.. And now it is now on me to make the final decision.. It's still rest upon my hand to choose.. And i talk to myself, i will try my best to change the bad side of me.. even it takes time and sacrifices, i will try my best to follow His path.. InsyaAllah..

There is always a light at the end of the tunnel.. For all the unfortunate events that i have endured, who knows that hikmah is waiting at the end of it?

God always has His own way of showing His true path towards the one He chooses..


In the end, i realised that yesterday is not so all unfortunate indeed..

Saturday, 26 September 2009

Kontroversi

Hmm.. aku xtau la bpe org yg dah baca blog Moment of Truth 2..
but bdasarkan feedback yg aku dapat, aku rase ade gak kot 2,3 org yg mbacanye..
ade yg rase touching.. ade yg rase sedih.. marah dll
trus terang, aku xkisah kalu korg nak rase emosional pas baca mende 2..
but PLEASE... TLG JGN PANDAI2 JUDGE & PUNISH sendri k..

korang tau x knp aku tls blog??
coz itu adalah satu2nye cara utk aku mluahkan perasaan aku..
sbb aku ni manusia biase, kalu tsentap & xpuas ht dgn seseorg memg adat la..
tapi dsebabkan aku nh jnis yg xpndai nk mlaha org, aku lbh cenderung utk simpan je..

tp kalu dh tlalu byk simpan, or tlalu kerap dsentap dgn pkara yg sama,
bnda yg kecik boleh jadi BARAH..
then dari BARAH, plahan2 btukar mjadi DENDAM..
and at that point, ia akan plahan2 btukar mjadi BALAS DENDAM,
or DENDAM nh akan memakan diri sendri kalu terus PENDAM..
Dan ape yg jadi seterusnya...??

so utk diri aku, aku memg jnis org yg pendam..
wpun g2, aku tetap bsyukur,
coz aku jnis yg xsimpan dlm hati, apatah lagi nk bdendam bpanjangan..
kalu tsentap pon plg lama shari dua je, pastu elok dah..
xsuke gado2 or mrh lame2..

tp mslhnye, bl sifat aku cam2,
ade lak yg mengambil kesempatan..
best2 je myentap org, langsung xtau nk jaga hati kwn..
kalu skali dua wat cm2, aku leh terima..
tapi kalu dah stiap kali bsua asyik kne sentap, sape yg blh tahan..

so the best solution i got, is getting a safe distance between him n me..
tapi aku memg xnk bnda nh bpanjangan pon..
Alhamdulillah, pas aku tlis blog 2,
plahan2 hati aku trubat semula..
hilang dah rase kcwa, mrh, sentap, skt ht..
sumenye dah aku curahkan dlm blog 2..
and once more, i can move on with my life..

tp bukan 2yg aku nk cite skrg nh
mslhnye, skrg nh ade pulak kontroversi tbaru bhubung blog 2..
ade hamba2 Allah nih, cuba pulak nk jadi hero dlm situasi nh..
cuba nk mhukum org2 yg aku sebutkn namenye dlm blog 2 dgn mberi sms layang..
ntah hape2 je

mule2 aku rase klakar jugak..
trase ala2 mcm artis pulak, di attack gossip, kontroversi segala..
tp utk pgetahuan pihak2 yg btggjwb 2,
korg memg xbtggjwb, coz korg attack slh org! hehe
len kali tnye la aku dlu sblm buat ape2 konklusi..

utk pgetahuan korg,
aku tulis blog 2 bkn sbb aku xpuas hati dengan prangai khalid,
tapi aku xpuas hati dgn org yg cuba myebarkan kisah bukan2 psl aku ngan khalid,
n org yg same gak yg myentap aku habis2an b4 ramadan yg lalu..
tp jgn risau, coz NAME DIE MEMG X DINYATAKAN DLM BLOG 2 K
so xplu la sape2 nk jadi ala2 paparazi n mcetuskan spekulasi pulak..
i dont need that kind of crap

n kepada hambe Allah yg cuba mjadi hero, kononnye la..
pcayalah, takde sape yg mharapkan kewujudan anda..
aku tlis blog nh bukan nak cari pyokong @ bls dendam kt sape2,
but just want to share the things that revolve around my life..
kalu nak baca, baca la.. tapi jgn mandai2 wat ksimpulan sndri pulak..

THE THINGS THAT I WROTE HERE, I STILL CONSIDERED IT AS MY PRIVATE ISSUES,
SO I WILL HANDLE IT PRIVATELY, WITH MY OWN CONSIDERATION AND METHOD
AND ANY EXTERNAL INTERFERENCE, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER,
IS WAY BEYOND MY CONSIDERATION OF ACCEPTANCE

AND THEREFORE IS FORBIDDEN AT ANY WAY POSSIBLE! GOT IT??!!

Thursday, 17 September 2009

Salam Aidilfitri!!!

"Balik kg!!! Hohoho.. Balik kg...!! Hati girang.."

haha.. mlm nh aku akan pulang ke kampung halamanku..
dgn mnaiki ketapi..

gmbira rasenye nk jmpe family..


ade org yg dh xblh nk study @ pk nk study lgsg..
ade yg slalunye kalu tdo mcm xnk bgun lg, tibe2 hr nh xblh tdo pulak..

ade yg serabut alam je aku tgk.. mandi xbasah.. tdo xlena..

semuanye dsebabkan
R.A.Y.E...

hahaha.. klakar pun bile pikirkn..

tp memg xdpt dnafikan, raye ni adalh antara moments yg plg dtunggu2 oleh sume org..

like the cherry on the top..
memg mase ni la semua sanak saudara akn bkumpul..

yg dh lama xjmpe dpt dieratkan kembali silaturrahimnya..


bagi aku? ntahla..

xde la rase excited sgt.. mungkin sbb dh besar kot..

cuma dh ade la plan2 yg insyaAllah bkal aku laksanakan mjelang rye nnti..

jumpe kuage.. kawan2.. sanak saudara.. rindu sgt kt diorg..


raye ptama, g rumah nenek n tdo sn dlm 3-4 hr..
excited sgt nk ke sn.. coz leh la jpe nnti pkck mkck n spupu2 yg mkin bsar sumenye..

n mrasai juadah2 raye yg enak x terkata 2..

pas2 nk ajak ucu g shopping skitar mlk.. hahaha.. motif sgt


lg 1 benda yg aku xsabar nk buat, of coz la mnanti ketibaan malam 7 likur..

dengan bekalan mercun dr shah alam oleh abg2 spupu.. mkin meriah la rye taun nh..
hehe
syoknye raye

n hr2 mjelang raye pon xkurang bestnye..

d kala mak tgh masak, aku ngan adik2 mban2 ape yg ptot..

memg la letih, tp yg pleknye xrase lgsg..

coz bila kte trut mban2 mbuat persiapan 2, trase mcm kte sdg participate skali dlm menanti lebaran.. seronok sgt..

Alhamdulillah.. aku dpt pulg awal dr wk2 yg djgkakan..
dpt la aku merasa bbuke kt umah..
n dpt gak shopping ape yg ptut utk rye nnti.. hehe


kepada sume yg mbc blogku ini,
aku nk ambk ksempatan ni utk mgucapkan
selamat menyambut lebaran
..
semoga korg bgembira hendaknya d samping kuarge..

n dlm pada masa 2 jgn over sgt k..
Jg dr bek2..


Jikalau ade yg aku pnh buat silap, dsentap dsbg,

aku ingin mohon keampunan pada korg..

halalkan segala mkn mnum aku ek..

kalu aku ade hutang dgn sape2, xkira la hutang duit ke.. jnji ke..

tuntut la secepat mungkin
ek.. jgn la simpan sampai ke akhirat nnti..

ape je yg aku pnh trase, tsentap mahupun tkecil hati naimah tkesima skalipun,

aku dah maafkan dah.. lgsg xsimpan dlm hati..

so aku harap naik cti nh, sgala2nye akan bmula dengan halaman baru..

halaman yg lbh mgembirakan..

aku doalkan semoga korang sume selamat pulg ke kg, selamat bgembira,
n slamat kmbali smula ke cnih k..

semoga Allah melindungi kalian semua.. n termasuk gak aku.. insyaAllah..

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

Death

Today i was shocked to hear about one of my lecturer's faintness during her lecture.. many things that i heard about her cause of faintness, but i pray to God hoping that it was just a minor stress or dehydration, which is common in this fasting month..

But the thing is.. it makes me felt a sudden feel of sadness inside my heart.. because i making me thinking about death..

Death is inevitable.. And our daily life will come to an end eventually.. it is God's promise, that one day He will take our soul towards heaven, or Hell.. But the only thing that i really make me thinking is, how we are going to face our death?

I've often read about death of people in the books. Some people died easily and full of honors, while others died tragically, sadistically and full of suffering.. When i read about death of people, i often imagined how they once have lived..

For this lecturer that I've learn a lot from, i guess i really treasures the best of her.. This morning, she advised us to keep our health good during this festive season.. Do not get overjoyed, because what's important is what we gonna face after the eid.. the future that we never wonder..

Thinking about her, God have given her the opportunity to achieve what peoples hope to achieve in their own life.. She got the opportunity to study abroad and succeeded, and she has found a husband that can guide her the path towards heavens, live a very happy life with children that will someday in God's will, following her steps towards victory in this world and hereafter.. I guess her life is always in God's will..

And she also the most persistent lecturer i ever know.. She's now about 50 i guess, but she never skip nor late coming to classes - even when her health conditions seems to weaken her.. She really take every God's grace towards her seriously, and tried her best to use it towards His path.. She always tried her best to serve other peoples, and she regards her career as a lecture as a responsibility, and she tried her best to manage it in her own ways..

I think she never forgot to feel thankful for all the things that she has already achieved.. That really touches my heart.. And i can only wonder, if one day that i can eventually becoming like her..

I don't know how does she felt when thinking about her own death, or when does it happen.. Or how.. I can only wonder.. But if one day she will be invited by God to His Grace (Rahmatullah).. I guess she is one of the person that will be ready to face it..

The truth is, is make me kept thinking, how do i leave this world one day..? Am i will be prepared when the time comes..?

Imperfection, that makes us a human being.. and i she does have her own weakness too.. Sometimes she could easily become furious when she wasn't satisfied with something.. but i think the important thing is, she realise her weakness and try to overcome it.. I've always imagine her never forget to ask for His forgiveness for all of her wrongdoing, either she realised doing it or not.. day and night.. And i always wonder on how i will do the same thing for myself..

Beyond her resoluteness, i (and i think everyone else too) can felt her true heart and intention.. I can sense her on how she manages her daily live.. her mother instinct.. to have a mother like that, i think her sons and daughters are in fact the luckiest person in the world...

For some reason, i also wonder that whether i will meet the same lecturers, frends or all the people that i know after this holiday.. Either some of them will never come back.. or either i will never come back, I will never know.. It's always in God's fate.. and i hope for the best to everyone..

But why human never think about this? their own death? how they're going to face it?

It is like human always forget their own purpose of existence..

Monday, 7 September 2009

Menjelang hari raye...

Bile dah 2 minggu nak raye nh.. Ingatan pada kg halaman smakin mnebal pulak..
Really rindu dgn family.. Slalu tertanya2 ape yang diorg tgh wat skrg nh..

Kalu dlu2, bile time2 sminggu 2 nk raye nh.. Dah mula prepare ape yg ptot..
Time2 ni, pas sahur mak akan mula bentang tikar di tgh rumah..
Marjerin.. telur.. tepung.. cetak kuih dn mcm2 lg bhan utk buat bskut yg dah dbeli sebelum nh,
akan dkumpulkan segala..
Pastu aku n adik2 akn duk keliling mak sbb nak "tolong".. hehe
Wpun mula2 mak mula2 mrh gak sbb ktorg sbnrnya nk ngacau je.. Tp Last2 die ngalah jgk..

Hehe.. Seronoknya tlg kacau adunan.. mcetak doh.. main tepung n mcm2 lg..
Indahnye knangan mse kck2 dlu..


Kalu nk tau, kitorg stil gunakan cara tradisional kalu nak buat bahulu cermai, sbb mak ckp kalu gne mesin pukul telur 2, bahulu jadi keras..
So bile time mak nk buat bahulu cermai, ktorg la adik beradik tlg ngencap telur dlm tempayan 2..

ngencap sampai lenguh tgn, n bgilir2 dgn adik..

letih sgt pas2, tp hlg kpenatan bile dpt bbuke bahulu mlm 2..
rangup kulitnya n lembut isi kueh bahulu yg mak buat.. trase kepuasannya..

Tapi bile time mak nak bakar bahulu, xde sape pon yg nk dtg dekat.. hehe

sbb asap yg kuar bile sabut tkabar tsgt la tebal n memedihkan..

tapi tgk mak buat rilek je mcm xde ape2.. plek btol..


bile raye, mak rajin buat kueh.. kerepek..

byk jgk yg bli, tp 2utk kueh yg kompleks2 n leceh je..

tapi kalu biskut2 cam cornflake.. tat.. dahlia.. n kerepek2 cam tempeyek.. tumpi.. kueh ros.. bnda2 yg mak dah bese buat nh,
mak wat sendri jer..
rasenye lg puas mkn kalu wat sndri..
n bile wat kueh raye sndri nh, bahang kmeriahan raye lg la trase..
tol x?
n bile tggl sminggu nak raye, mak akn suro mrayau 1 kg.. cari batang2 buluh @ kayu utk djadikan pancang (batang) pelita..
so pegi la aku bsama mrayau mca
ri rumpun2 buluh..
kalu mls nk mrayau, cari kt blakang rumah je..

n of coz la.. bukan aku yg akn potong btg2 kayu 2.. hehe

adik aku yg potong sgala.. aku tlg angkut bwk blik rumah, dan jgk kne pacakkan tiang2 2kt skeliling rumah.. huhu..
pnat weh...

tp zaman skrg nh senang btol sgalanye dh ade kt kdai..xde lgsg thrill myambut rye.. huhu


dlm byk2 juadah tradisional raye, rasenye lemang je yg xpnh lg wat sndri..
sbb mak ckp buat lemang ni leceh..
nk tggu die msk ambk ms semlman..

wpun aku ske mkn lemang, tp jarang dpt mkn sbb family yg len xmnat mende 2..
slalunya bile balik rumah atok br ade diorg hdangkn lemang..
hehe..
xksh la jnji dpt mkn..


2hr sblum raye, wak2 yg plg
memenatkan n mbunuh..
mgemas rumah, mgalihkan perabot yg mane ptot.. pasang kapet..
sgalanye kne dsiapkn..
memg rase nk pengsan, lbh2 lg time nk mbentang kapet2.. huhu.. tp nsb bek la buat rmai2..
hmm... xtau la cmne taun nh mak wat ngan adk je..

ha, n 1lg mase yg aku tggu2, adalah ms utk mngayam ketupat..
sbnrnye mak aku sorg je yg mgayam ktupat..
aku just duk2 c2 tmankan die je..

pas2 borak2 dgn sgala topik yg ade.. lgsg xrase bosan..


mak pnh agak ajar ngayam, tp dlm 10 pcubaan, 1 je yg jadik.. bosan tol

so last2 aku cm praktikkn part yg aku plg terer buat je.. MAKAN! hehe

hehe.. seronok btol mengenang memori mjelang raye nh.. xsabo nk balik..

Saturday, 5 September 2009

Moment of Truth

Nape ntah ek..
time2 bulan pose nih aku byk mrenung psl diri aku..
Some times aku rase hdup aku nh tlalu empty, tlalu mbosankan..
Bl aku pk ttg diri aku, aku xtau ape yg aku nk bygkan..
Sesuatu telah mbuatkn hdupku x keruan.. huhu

Adakah aku gembira?
Hmm.. aku sndri pun xtau nk jawab cmne..
kdg2 aku rase gmbira.. kdg2 aku rase xgbira..
kdg2 aku ttnye2 ape yg aku rase sbnrnya..

My life is one big confusing thing..
Aku sering btanya pd diri aku, ape yg aku nak sbnrnya dlm hdup nh..
Kdg2 bile aku tgk kwn2 aku, aku tgk hdup diorg happening je..
Aku cemburu mlihat golongan2 yg popular nh.. rase nk jadi cam diorg..
selalu dikerumuni kwn2.. slalu mjadi tumpuan..
Hdup org len mjadi ceria dibuatnye..

Tp mmpu ke aku jd cam diorg...?
Aku cuba jgk.. Bgaul dgn ramai org..
Cuba nk adapt dlm grouping2 nh..
Tp aku plek..
Mbayangkan brada d dlm group n brada dlm group 2sndri, lgsg xsama feelingnya..
Huhu.. Lagi indah khabar dr rupe..

Bile aku join dlm group2 camnh, aku rase cam terkongkong..
Trase diri nh hipokrit sgt.. Tpksa blakon seolah2 i'm like one of them..
Kdg2 smpai aku tpksa buat sesuatu yg aku xnk buat..
aku trase mcm mperbodohkan diri aku bl bsama diorg..
Sumenye merinsekn, xde yg myeronokkan..

Tapi bl aku mjauhkan diri dr org, org ckp aku sombong..
Xsuke bgaul.. Self-concentrated..
Ade yg suro aku kluar dr kepompong hdup aku, n try to explore other people..
Kdg2 aku tpikir,
Adakah itu yg ptut aku lakukn?

Tp soalan yg aku rase lbh penting..
Bbaloi ke aku mjadi hipokrit dgn org lain?
Bbaloi ke aku senyum pd org, padahal hati aku mgatakan sebaliknya?
Bbaloi ke aku blakon utk menyenangkan hati org len, pdhal ht sndri mrana?

IS IT REALLY WORTH DOING?

Kwn aku yg bg nasihat nh, die pon ckp y die pnh dkecewakan oleh kwn die..
die ckp besfren die sdiri tikam die dr blakang..
N he said org2 skeliling die slalu pndang negatif sgala perbuatannye..
Wpun bnda yg die buat berniat baik, naimah hnya sekadar ingin mbantu..
But still, people never appreciate everything from him..

So my question is, why he still try to be frend,
with someone who hates him?
Rase mcm mperbodohkn diri sndri je..
Aku xnafikan yg kdg2 aku pon tpksa gak hipokrit..
Maklumla manusia nh..
Kat luar manis, kat dlm sape yg tahu..
Aku rase mcm dh xde msia yg btol2 jujur nk bkawan kt dunia..
Everyone has their own agenda..

Despite this, there is still some that i can considered a true friend..
Akim.. who I always confortable with..
Who i can share my thought with.. My feelings with..
Someone who i do not have to pretend or to entertain to get attention..

Nor.. Walaupun kdg2 die ckp out-of-topic, tp aku xpnh jemu mdengar celotehnye..
It's like im not listening on what he said, but on how he said it..
It's like he wanted to share anything without any censures or hypocracy..
I think it's so decent..

Psl aku ngan Khalid, dhsyat sket..
People always get wrong info on us..
Ade org ckp aku nih jadi pak turut die.. mcm aku nih tlalu ikutkn sgt katanye..

Sblm nh, bl ade org referkn Khalid sbg "bini" aku, aku xambik serius pkara 2..
Aku ingatkan diorg just gurau2 gitu je..
But now i know..
Diorg btol2 mksudkan ape yg diorg kata..
Diorg btol2 anggap aku ni cuma kuda tunggangan Khalid je ..
Diorg anggap aku ni mcm org bodoh.. mcm pak turut je..

The truth is really kills me..
Ptut la diorg lyang aku mcm aku ni bodoh sgt..
Mcm xde otak nk bpkir.. mcm xde perasaan nk djaga..
Mcm aku ni xlbh dr skadar puppet..
Tp xsume buat camtu.. cm sorg dua je..

Tapi aku memg xblh trima dgn pbuatan sorg hamba Allah ni..
Bile die mlaha, aku sbr je..
Bile die myentap, aku leh gelak lagi, wpun hati terasa sakit gile..
N bile die buat aku mcm org yg pling hina n mjelikkan kt muka bumi ni, aku diamkan je,
wpun hati aku dah pecah bderai mase 2.. Mcm kaca thempas ke bumi..

Aku kalu blh sntiasa nk jg ht die..
N trus terang, aku memg suka cara die..
Wpun cr die kdg2 agak kasar, tp aku xpnh jemu dgr die bcerita, or dgr die bckp..
Bg aku, die xubah mcm pkck yg aku plg rapat kt kg 2.. Kuat laha tp klakar..
N aku sntiasa rase die baik, wpun d dlm cranya yg tsendiri..
Memg aku slma nh anggap die xubah spt pkck aku kt cnih..

Tp bl die wat aku cmnih, aku ttnya2 pd diri aku sndri..
Ape slh aku smpai die wat aku cmnh..
Selama nh, ape sbnrnya anggapan die thadap aku...
Adkh aku ni skdar patung tnpa hati dn perasaan d mata die,
atau sekadar kucing kurap yg mjadi bahan sepak terajang..

Aku bkn xde hati nk trasa, xde perasaan yg nk dijaga..
Mungkin org ckp aku je yg manja, kene mrh sket pon mrajuk..
Aku cuba pujuk diri aku cm2 jgk..
Tp aku stil ttnya2 ape slh aku...?

Trus terang, kalu die ingat aku nh desperate sgt ke nk naik kete die 2, die silap!
slama nih, aku pnh ke naik kete die balik umah?!
Hari 2, aku g tnye die just sbb ade org yg ckp die nk bwk aku balik umah nek kete die..
aku jmpe die just nk pastikn kbnaran pkara 2.. That's all..

Dh la aku tel die lgsg x angkat..
Bile aku jmpe die, die herdik aku, tengking aku..
Salah ke niat aku utk btnya, utk kpastian??

Slm nih pon, bile aku ckp aku nk ikut die blik, sumenye xlbh skdr ckp2 kosg je..
Xde pon mharap sgt..
Kalu die bg aku ikut, alhamdulillah..
Tp kalu die ckp xblh, aku xksh lgsg, inikn pula nk ambik ati..

C akim 2dh bpe kali nk ajak aku nek ktapi..
n aku memg xksh nk ikut diorg..
aku lbh suke nek ktapi ngan diorg..

So knp, dlm byk2 cara utk bkata TIDAK BOLEH pada aku,
cara yg paling mmalukan dan hina jgk yg die plh utk aku??
Knp?? benci sgt ke die pd aku??

Wpun aku terasa sentap sgt mse 2... tp aku diamkan je..
Tp bile die bterusan buat aku cm2 lpas aku naik cti, aku mula rase myampah..
N rase mnyampah 2 tnpa aku sdar, btukar mjd rase benci..

Skrg kalu bleh, aku nk cuba elakkan dr die..
Kalu xbtemu lgsg lg bgus.. Xksh la org nk kta ape..
But aku stil harap die gmbira dgn dnia die..
as long it is out from my world..

Aku akui, aku memg susah nk buat kwn dgn org..
Tp bile aku dh suke dgn seseorg 2, aku akn cuba yg tbaik utk m'jg psahabatan dgnnye..
Aku akn cb yg tbaik utk jg hti die..
Tp hati aku ni xubah mcm gelas perek 2..
Wpun xmudah pecah.. But once it break, it can never be fixed..

1 je bnda yg aku mintak dari sume yg bc blog aku nh..
Tolong la hormat aku seadanya.. N jgn pikir aku ni xde perasaan utk djaga..
Aku cb utk jg hti sume, n in return, aku hrp org jgk dpt jg ht aku..
Is it really hard to ask??

Org slalu, knp aku rapat sgt dgn c Khalid 2,
KNP AKU SUKE BKAWAN DGN KHALID??
SBB SELAHA2 PERANGAI DIE PON, AT LEAST DIE TAU JAGA HATI AKU..
XMCM HAMBA2 ALLAH 2 YG CUBA NK NASIHATKAN AKU
KONONNYE AKU NI KUDA TUNGGANGAN OLEH C KHALID 2,
PDHAL DIORG XNMPAK,
DIORG WAT LAGI TRUK PD KWN DIORG SNDRI (SLEN AKU LER)..

AT LEAST KHALID GIVES SOMETHING BACK FOR WHAT HE TAKE..
BUT HIM??!

Org yg nsihatkan aku 2, die xnmpk ape yg die sndri buat,
HE JUST TAKE IT, WITHOUT CONSIDERING THE FEELINGS OF THE ONE
WHOM IS BEING TAKEN!
AND HE THINK THAT GIVING SOMETHING CRAP AND PATHETIC COULD COMPENSATE THE THINGS THAT HE'D TAKEN,
HE'S ABSOLUTELY WRONG!

Kpd sape2 yg trase 2, aku mtk maaf..
coz aku memg xbmksud nk sentap sape2..
Just nk mluahkan perasaan je d bulan pose nh..
supaya bnda nh xblarutan n plahan2 mjadi barah dlm fikiran aku nh..

Aku ske org mcm eddy.. kim.. nor..
Xksh la ape org anggap, or ckp psl diorg.. i always like them..
We can never shut people's mouth..
So why bother concern abt it??

So just ignore it.. As long as we r happy with our lives..
ThankQ guys.. I really appreciate frends like u..

Sunday, 30 August 2009

Ramadan Kareem...


I wish to all Muslim readers..

Hope all of you will have a blessed Ramadan this month..

May all of us will find His mercy and may He guide us on His path always..

Amin Ya Rabbal'alamin..

the Sinner, whom is me...

Sometimes when we get too carried away on some things, we tend to forget its rightness or wrongness.. The truth is i really felt grateful to God that He created me in a way that i, myself felt many weakness on me.. i'm proud to live in a moderate lifestyle.. not too enrich with wealth nor living in poverty.. and i thank God for all of the hardships and misery that He sometimes put on me.. God i'm really grateful for all of that.. and now its like i'm forgotten all about it!

sometimes when we see someone who lives in wealth and richness, we pray that some day we could become just as like him/her.. but we never felt grateful for the things that we already have.. we abuse the things that we have gained to strive and achieve the one that we dream the most - wellness and wealth.. and yet is it really worth it??

everybody wants to achieve the most important things in everybody's lives- happiness.. but most translates happiness as wealth.. luxury.. and lust! their true intentions were good, but human being, which is far from perfections, tend to achieve it in any way possible, most times in inappropriate ways. i doesn't want to show others as an example, but just at myself..

when i do not have my laptop yet, i think that having laptop is the most-wanted thing that i really hoped and longing for.. my life is quite simple.. and i never think that luxury is one of my basic necessities.. still i really want a laptop, since i've seen its goodness and benefits.. despite of some flaws on it, such as the bad influence on the internet, i think that i could handle it.. thinking that i can control my lust and desires to a more positive path and more important, towards His path. And He put it on a test, in which i have failed...

i miss my old self- a person who is naive in many things.. whom always felt grateful to God in any way possible.. when i was tangled with troubles, i always pray to God to seek the solutions.. and i felt God had never let me out of His sight.. every thing that i've done in my life, and any outcome that happens from it, i always thought that it was God's sign towards His straight path one way or another.. and it secures me always..

but now, i think like i was abandoning Him.. i don't know what's wrong with me.. but day after day, i felt that i'm loosing Him, and His presence is like evaporating day by day in my life.. God have given me the best things for me this semester - a good grades.. a laptop.. a good roomates and an easy access on broadband also.. but all of these, instead of making me feeling much more grateful to God, has slowly making me forgotten him.. my life now is like feeling empty.. even when i prayed, i felt like i was doing something meaningless.. and it gradually making me felt miserable every day...

my heart pounding to be back in His path again, but it is like the rest of the body, with addition of the environment around me do not make me feel towards that path.. i felt lonely right now, even with the presence of all my friends..

i know what i want, but i don't know how to get it..


now i realise my desire is not cool gadgets, or wealthy lifestyle, or branded shoes or shirts or whatever.. but what i really desired is YOU, GOD!! all of these luxury that You've given me, i really felt grateful.. but if that's the exchange for my faith in you, i can never tolerate with that!

Please don't abandon me, God! Show me the way to Your path again.. the Path of eternal peace.. Amin..

from Your humble servant,
one who always forget

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

Time is a very melodramatic thing...

Watching the stories "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" really touches my heart. I don’t know why, but to see how time plays with everybody's lives really giving me an impact. Everybody get older as time passes by, but I could not wonder how it must felt when it turns to the opposite.

Sometimes people hope to reverse time when they lost their loved ones. But time that had passed by never comes back. The same thing goes with Benjamin, who is born old. During his old "childhood", he had learnt to love, to think that how old people think. He learns to know and wonder about other people. He makes relationships, and the fact that he lives in an old-folks home really showed him the meaning of his life.

He learnt to mature first before childishness. I remembered one of the ladies tells to Benjamin when he said that he was feeling younger than anybody else by every day,

"Well, I felt very sorry to you. You’ll have to see everybody else died before you do."

It really touches my heart when she said that. There is no other pain more badly than losing the one we loved, and we must continue our lives without them. I'm felt sorry to Benjamin. He was getting younger, but all the peoples around him - His mama, the old lady that taught her the piano, even Daisy, his long true love are becoming older and one day, they will gone. It was so ironic.

But when the old lady saw his sad face, she gives him a good advice, "Benjamin, we meant to lose all the people that we loved. That’s how we know how important they are to us." That’s true, definitely. Every word she said really makes me wonder about time, living and death.

Time is really a melodramatic thing. Sometimes you hope that time reverses, and our loved one is spared from mortality. But even as it reversing as in Ben’s case, death is still inevitable. Lost ones will gone one day, and it can never be revived back. Sometimes when you live far enough, you will see everyone around you perish one by one, until in the end there is no one left beside you alone.
In the end, I felt sorry more to Daisy. From childhood, she keeps her feelings from Benjamin, thinking that it was not more than an immature thinking. As she grew older, Benjamin leaves her in searching for his new world beyond the Atlantic. Then Benjamin found his other love in Moscow, and sent a postcard that crashes Daisy's heart. When Daisy found a new life with other guy, her foot - as well as her dreams crush in an accident. Benjamin came back, but she drove him off.
But eventually Daisy come back to Benjamin when she recovered. They enjoyed a brief moment of happiness together. But Ben, feeling that one day he would eventually become a burden to Daisy as he got younger, left her for the second time. Daisy went on alone raising their daughter, Caroline and remarried to other man after a while to fill up the emptiness left by Benjamin to his daughter. And then they met again.
In the end, when she is the one whom take cares of Ben, even in his "childhood". Reading the same storybook that they've once read during Daisy's childhood - it’s all becomes so dramatic to me. It felt like time was repeating itself, but it never did. Benjamin died in the lap of daisy, in his baby form. I cannot even wonder how daisy might felt at that moment. But I guess she is a very strong woman inside.
This story is so touching, and yet it taught me a lot on how important it is to treasures every moment of our lives and all the people that I loved around me.
Time passed by can never be repeated again, but memories that comes along the way lives forever.

erm.. lm dh xbkak blog

Dah lama aku xmnulis dlm blog..
bukan xde point, tp xde mase.. ade laptop mls nk bukak,
tp bile dh bukak xde idea lak nk tulis ape.. huhu
tapi bosan jugak bile tgk blog org len pye la xtkira byknye update2 yg br..
so aku gagahi jgk utk mnaip skelumit rase.. hehe

serius, aku mmg xde mud nk mnulis pape hari ni.. maybe bcoz of the upcoming test dis friday..
study pon sket je dpt.. huhu

so aku send nh jela utk kali ni.. adios

Monday, 20 July 2009

Aku suke g meeting sem nih..

Aku suke pegi meeting sem nih..
Bukan sebab berminat nak tau agenda mesyuarat, tapi lebih berminat nak tau agenda di "belakang tabir".. hehe
Aku suke tgk 1001 karenah yang ade kt dlm kelas td.. Ada mcm2 jenis org yang datang..
Ala2 macam sidang parlimen pulak.. hehe

Kat barisan pertama, golongan kabinet yg diberi amanah utk memerintah.. Memg diorg memg diva gile la mlm ni.. hoho

Barisan kedua, terdapat 2 blok besar, iaitu di sblh kanan golongan pro-ulama yg konservatif, dan di sebelah kiri pulak golongan pro-erdogan yang sekular merangkap pemegang 2/3 daripada kerusi dewan.. hehe

Barisan ketiga dan keempat, adalah campuran golongan moderate dan sekular yg still bkehendak kepada kepentingan Islam, namun x menolak dasar liberalisasi @ sekularisme...

Dan barisan kelima dan terakhir adalah golongan yg terdiri dari pelbagai pemikiran, spt free-thinker (tengah), golongan moderate (area kanan) dan di hujung sebelah kanan adalah golongan yang bersifat radikal yg lebih autonomist thadap negeri sndri (majoritinye kelate with minoriti selangor)..

So, pertemuan part 4 sem ni memang hebat dgn keputusan yg revolusioner.. Hoho.. Best2 je aku buat analisis politik sendiri.. Tapi memg bnda 2 dah nampak sgt.. Pertemuan kali ni memg mggabungkan hampir semua blok politik yg wujud di kalangan part 4 nih..

Tp aku kcwa gak coz tak kelihatan sayap pemikiran rasionalisme dan para pengkritik politik di dalam mesyuarat kali nih.. Huhu

Lastly, aku nak ucap congrat's pada golongan freethinker kerana diorg memberi cadangan yg hebat dlm mesyuarat kali nih.. "1 World", bagi aku memg sgt2 sesuai kerana terdapat asimilasi dari pelbagai corak pemikiran dan aku dpt lihat unsur "fusion" yg bkal mewarnai dinner kali ni..

Sekian sahaja laporan politik PERDIDSA part 4 kali ni.. Semoga dinner sem ni bakal mjadi antara dinner yg paling GRAND di dlm dinner PERDIPSA..!! (Excited jgk sebenarnye nih.. hehe)

Kepada sesiapa yg mengenai insan yg bernama IPIN, sila ingtkan dia utk mberi kupon aktiviti kpd sume yg dtg mlm nih spt yg dijanjikan.. Salam Hormat dr sy.. X.0.X.0

Friday, 10 July 2009

Now highlighting... prequel of the Da Vinci Code

Really, before reading the Da Vinci Code novel, i thought that the only nemesis that the Vatican had faced over the century was only Islam and the Protestants, and i never knew that there is still some Christians who believed in the most profound truth, the true teaching of God, that is Jesus is merely a teacher.. a preacher.. not more than a prophet!

I also learn from this novel that is was all an effort of a pagan emperor, Constantine who is responsible for the corruption of the true teachings of Jesus with the pagan rituals, an assimilation that has astray all the Christians 300 years after the death of Jesus.. and so many interesting facts and myths of the ancient times are revealed in the novel.. Therefore, i strongly believes that no one should ever missed it, regardless of their religion!


Nevertheless, I was so thrilled to see coming of the prequel of the box-office movie Da Vinci Code, called Angels & Demons.. Really exciting to know what exciting mysteries that Langdon will face in this movie.. But i really, really disappointed that i missed it on the cinemas!! huhu.. Works really kills me in the form of time and opportunity to leisure on the city.. But the frustating pain suddenly is relieved when i found a bookshop that sold all the novels written by Dan Brown..

It was the most exciting day of my life when going to a bookstore.. hahaha.. and of course i bought it all! and i'm sure damn excited to share with all of you about the adventures when im done reading it!! so don't missed it ok?!

Thursday, 9 July 2009

Back to campus...

Tak sangka masa cepat benar blalu.. huhu
dalam diam dah masuk bulan 7.. genap 1 stgh tahun aku brada d cnih..

rase seronok sgt nak kembali ke cnih.. mklumlah.. dah bosan gile keje rasenye..
tapi bile nak abis keje, rase seronok..
bkn sbb dh nak abis keje, tapi sebb ada parti..
hehe
sronok kmpul ramai2..

tapi bile dah balik kampus, mcm2 hal yg blaku..
kne sbilik ngan senior..
aduh ramai gile yg xdpt kolej sem ni.. sabo jela

kelas rasenye ok, cuma kdg2 trase crowded sgt..
al-maklumla 30++ org yg join kelas c..
kesian pulak bl dgr kelas b cuma ade 10 org je..

tapi aku bersyukur, sbb sgala2nya bjalan dgn lancar d cnih..
alhamdulillah, stelh puas cuba bkak ehep, akhirnye dpt gak pmohonan subsidi mkn..
hehe.. bjaya!!

Saturday, 30 May 2009

Lalalala.. hari2 kerja...

dah lama aku xkeje..
slalunye kalu cuti2 sem camnih, aku dok mlepak kt umah je.. lyan tv.. komputer..
buang mase je 24 jam..
memg bosan gile.. rase cam hidup nih x bermakna..

tp alhamdulillah..
cti sem ni, dgn izin Allah, aku dpt bkeje d sbuah kdai bku..
mule2 cam biase la.. kekok sgt..
maklumla bkn jenis peramah..

berbekalkan rm2 sejam, aku bkeje dr pkul 8pg smpai 6ptg..
mcm2 keje aku buat, memg aku kne take care 1 kdailah ksimpulannye..

mule2 memg rase pnat, dan jgk risau..
tkot aku xdpt nk adapt dgn keje ni..
tgk pkeje2 yg ade, diorg mcm2 dah tau..
drpd kira brg, susun stok, uruskn mesin ftostat, fax dll..
pendek kte xde ape yg diorg xtau buat kt kdai ni..
aku lak, cam tkejar2 nk kne wat sume bnde..

plg aku tensen, bile nak wat ftostat,
ftostat ic la.. set la.. dpn blakang la..
mcm2 function yg kne ingat, pning pale otak aku..
ftostatnya bukan sikit lak 2, kdg2 sampai beribu2..
plg tensen bile dh stat ftostat, p2 silap..
rugi siot ketas.. huhu

mggu ptama memg pnuh dugaan..
pas2 aku dpt jd cashier, nih ok la..
at least sume brg ade hrga..
xpyh aku nk ingat sgt..

tp kalu time cari brg utk org, aku rinse gak..
aku bkn tau pon ktne puncher, laminating film, dn byk lg..
p2 pnye le byk menatang2 pelik yg aku kne knal..
huhu.. tensen gile..

tp nsib bek la rkan2 skeje aku sumenye spoting2 blaka..
drpd kak kamariah yg laha 2, smpai le kpd kak ana yg lbh junior dr aku,
sumenye kuat laha n klakar gile..
hepi aku dok cnih.. hehe

n yg plg best, bos aku 2la..
laha tp spoting..
xpnh marah, tp ske main psiko dgn aku..
huhu.. kdg2 tgugat gak mental aku ni bile kne laha dgn die..
tp laha2 cam2 jela.. xde la smpai maki2 @ mrh..
wat aku bsyukur dpt keje kt cnih..

hari ni bos aku g holiday ke trg..
so secara lahiriahnye, kitorg mdeka la..
hehe..
boleh wat ape saje sbb bos xde..
mklumla akak2 yg len 2pun sumenye skepala..
so keje smpai mlm pon xksh.. hehe

yg plg aku ske keje kt cnih..
intenet die laju nk mampos..
dh la komputer grand..
kak imah ckp, asalkn xde bos, gasak je..
best siot.. hehe
aku nk online smpai mlm..

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Balik Kampung

Alas!
The moment i've been waiting for..
the moment where all the burden and pressure i hold throughout the semester have been lifted..
the moment of FREEDOM..
Exam is over!! and tomorrow i'll be getting home..


nevertheless, going back to kampung doesn't mean that it will be all over..
balik kampung doesnt mean the end of my responsibility..
and balik kampung definitely doesn't mean freedom to do anything..

in reality, more awaits me there than here..
more responsibility.. more daily things to do..
and overall, less freedom..

but like the old folks says,

"hujan emas di negeri org, hujan batu di negeri sendiri;
tapi lebih baik di negeri sendiri.."

(rain of gold in falls other land, while rain of rocks fallen onto our land, but still our land is the best)

despite the hardships and limitations that i will endure at my hometown..
i still love my home, no matter what..
because that's the place where i learn about my life for the past 17 years..
and to just ignoring that for some pleasure that i've recently discovered,
it's not worth it..

and tomorrow i will came back to my roots..
and live a bitter-sweet life.. for about two hours..
with my mother, and all my family around me..
all that i'd treasured most..

To all of my friends out, wish all of you a great holiday!!See ya next sem!!